A hilarious memoir of 1960s single life, San Francisco style

One broken nose, five roommates, and two years of spectacular disasters

Fresh out of college with a broken nose, an English degree, and absolutely no practical skills, Susan and her friends descend on San Francisco with nothing but enthusiasm and a vow to reach the Top of the Mark by September. What could possibly go wrong?

Everything—gloriously, hilariously, memorably.

From their crumbling Victorian apartment (complete with a tippling landlord in a bathrobe and an elevator that rarely works) to disastrous temp jobs that include plumbing duties at Candlestick Park, Susan chronicles the misadventures of young women navigating independence for the first time. There are exploding dinner parties, romantic mishaps with doctors who diagnose deviated septums on first dates, camping trips that should never have happened, and the unforgettable incident involving leftover crab that nearly gets them evicted.

Written in real time as these adventures unfolded—not decades later through the fog of nostalgia—this memoir captures the unfiltered voice of a young woman actually living it, mistakes and all.

With wit, warmth, and perfectly timed self-deprecation, Darby captures a moment when young women were rewriting the rules—one spectacular failure at a time. Whether she's falling out of a chairlift, shipwrecking herself in San Francisco Bay, or watching her roommate press a dress with gin-filled water from the steam iron, Susan finds the humor in every humiliation and the humanity in every disaster.

A time capsule of 1960s single life and a love letter to friendship, independence, and the beautiful chaos of finding yourself, DON'T PUT THE MARTINIS IN THE STEAM IRON is perfect for anyone who remembers—or wants to remember—what it was like to be young, broke, and gloriously, messily free.

For fans of Nora Ephron and Erma Bombeck

Sometimes the best stories come from the worst decisions.